Let’s get real for a second—marriage isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, no matter how many couple selfies you post. Sure, there’s love, laughter, and, most importantly, a shared hatred of folding laundry. But marriage is also work. And mental health? Well, that can be a roller coaster, too. So, what happens when you need a little more than just a “let’s talk about it later” chat? That’s where couples therapy comes in.
Now, before you roll your eyes and think, “Therapy is for couples on the brink of divorce,” hold up. Let’s clear that up. Couples therapy isn’t just for the couples who are ready to throw in the towel. Nope. It’s for EVERYONE. Yes, even for couples who are pretty darn happy (like Nathaniel and me). Here’s why therapy is one of the best things you can do for your marriage, and why it’s high time we stop thinking there’s a stigma around it.
Therapy: Not Just for Crisis Mode
Okay, I’ll admit—when I first heard the term “couples therapy,” I was convinced it was for people whose relationships were about to fall apart. I mean, isn’t that what you see in the movies? The struggling couple sitting across from some fancy therapist, looking like they’re just one more argument away from calling it quits? Yeah, not the vibe I was going for.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that, just like any kind of therapy, it doesn’t have to be for crisis mode. I mean, we go to the doctor when we’re sick, right? So, why is marriage any different? Nathaniel and I went to therapy a while back—not because we were on the brink of divorce, but because, honestly, we could use a little help figuring out how to not lose ourselves while raising two very energetic kids.
Couples therapy can give you the tools to strengthen your connection, handle stress better, and build healthier communication habits. And trust me, after a couple of sessions, I was like, “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” It was like a little reboot for our relationship.
Breaking the Stigma: Therapy Isn’t a Shameful Thing
Look, I get it. The thought of walking into a therapy office can be intimidating. There’s this weird stigma that therapy is only for “broken” relationships. But that’s just nonsense. Every couple has their stuff. Whether it’s learning how to juggle family, work, and personal time, or just navigating the tricky terrain of, you know, being human, therapy is an investment in your mental well-being.
You wouldn’t hesitate to go see a therapist if you were struggling with stress, anxiety, or any other personal issue, so why should marriage be any different? It doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a couple; it means you’re actively working to make things better. It’s like buying insurance—because you care about keeping things in good shape.
Therapy Helps You Grow Together (Not Apart)
Let’s talk about the good stuff. Therapy is like a workout for your relationship. It helps you flex your emotional muscles, build resilience, and get stronger together. During one of our sessions, Nathaniel and I spent a lot of time discussing how we communicate. I don’t know about you, but I can be really bad at listening when I’m tired or stressed. The therapist helped me realize that I wasn’t always hearing what Nathaniel was saying—I was hearing what I wanted to hear. Oops. It sounds simple, but sometimes, those small things can add up.
We also spent some time talking about how we deal with stress. If we’re being honest, I can get a little… shall we say… intense when I’m juggling too much. Nathaniel? He’s more of a “let’s pretend everything’s fine and hope it magically works out” kind of guy. Therapy helped us learn how to meet each other in the middle. It was like finding a new way to speak each other’s language.
And the best part? It didn’t make me feel like I was doing something wrong—it made me feel like we were both doing something right by showing up for each other.
It’s Not Just for You, It’s for Your Kids, Too
I’m sure many of you are thinking, “But what about the kids? How does therapy help them?” Well, here’s the thing: A healthy, happy relationship between parents is one of the most important things you can give your kids. Ginny and Adam are always watching us, even when we think they’re not. The way we handle disagreements, stress, or just the day-to-day struggles of life—they notice. And if they see us communicating well, listening to each other, and respecting one another, that’s a pretty good example for them.
Sure, our kids don’t need to know everything we talk about in therapy (because, honestly, some things are just for Nathaniel and me), but what they do need to see is that we’re putting in the work to stay connected. If therapy helps us model healthy communication and problem-solving, then it’s a win for everyone. And isn’t that the goal?
Therapy Can Be Fun!
Now, let’s lighten things up a bit. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t exactly excited for our first therapy session. I had visions of awkward silences and uncomfortable topics. But guess what? It wasn’t like that at all. Our therapist was warm, approachable, and actually made the whole process feel easy. It was a safe space where we could talk about anything—and sometimes, even crack a joke about the chaos of family life. You don’t have to sit there in a super serious way the whole time.
Therapy doesn’t have to be scary. It doesn’t have to be “fixing” something that’s broken. It’s simply two people showing up, willing to put in the effort to make things better. Whether you’re dealing with communication hiccups or just need a refresher on how to make date nights happen (because we all know how those tend to disappear), therapy can be a tool that works wonders.
So here’s the bottom line: Therapy isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of growth. And if Nathaniel and I can make it through a couple of awkward sessions, you can too. Don’t let the stigma stop you from trying something that could make your marriage even stronger. After all, happy couples aren’t just lucky—they’re the ones who put in the work.
Go ahead, book that session. Your mental health (and your marriage) will thank you later.